French men
14 November 2006
Um, 'Hellogoodbye' basically just rocks my socks off...literally. You gotta dance when you hear their songs (and believe me, I do)...'screw guys, I just wanna dance!' 'Power pop,' hmmm, nice categorizing music genre makers, whoever you are. I miss dancing...in my room, in the car, in the street...it's one of my outlets. I have a lot of those...little things that I do to just help me feel like I can still be fun, that the world can never force me to become a complete grownup. For instance, when I ride my bike here I'll play games, race cars and stuff (extra points for scooters). Not like they know, but you'd be surprised at how intense it can get. Or sometimes, when I see someone looking at me/catch eyes with someone I'll make a scene and wave from my position on the street corner/cafe/wherever I happen to be. I think this one freaks people out. Apparently you're not supposed to do that when you're alone...or maybe just ever. Either way, it gives me a chuckle to watch people freak out and not know what to do. Anyone who really knows me is in full that spontaneous dance parties are definitely on my top 10 favorite things to do in life. I have no idea what others are up there in the top 10, but if I had a top 10 list, spontaneous dance parties would go there.
Writing this has made me realize that I haven't been able to completely let loose in a longtime. Feeling a little confined, honestly...at my host family’s house there’s never that fully "at home" sentiment since it's technically not my house...can never just do whatever I want. Or how now, when I walk in the street, I'm usually rockin' the death stare...otherwise there'd be even more sketchy dudes yelling random comments in my face...not even kidding! they put their face like 2 inches from mine and say who knows what in French. The other day I finally told a guy he could fuck off. I just don't want to put up with it anymore. I have many a time just let it slide, but those days are gone. I don't care if it shouldn't bother me like this or if it’s just a cultural difference. I don't care. Why? Because if these men can do whatever the hell they want, then I too will do the same. This includes yelling things back at them. Whistling, fine. Grabbing my shoulder, pushing it. Yelling things in my face, forget it. Really now, what would I do, boys? What are you accomplishing? Wow, nothing makes me feel more attractive than having you shout at me, thanks! Actually, the more I write about this, I'm realizing this infuriates me...then again, the tension has been building since day one.
As a woman in France, there is no such thing as personal space. French men feel they have the right to violate this personal space whenever they damn well please. No, not the majority of French men, but enough that I feel it speaks to a cultural difference. Yes, cars honk at me in the US. Do I find this charming? No. Does it bother me? Usually not. I miss honking cars. Here, the men are aggressive. Subtlety does not exist. If a man finds a woman attractive, he is not the least bit ashamed to look her straight up and down right in front of her. I've never felt like such a piece of meat. And let me clarify, these are not the gorgeous, finely dressed, European men by which most every girl would love to be approached. I’m talking the 40, 50, 60 year old guys, who classify as fairly undesirable and not the least bit charming. As I mentioned, personal space is nonexistent for women. Touching the shoulder, the hand, the hair, the face…all seems to be fair game, and women seem to not have a chance to voice their opinion…or if they do, i certainly haven’t heard them voice it…so I will.
And rarely, is any of this attention from men, charming. I find it to be rude, obnoxious, and quite frankly, disgusting.. I have never had a guy actually put his hands on me or come up so close to without having given him any indication whatsoever that he even exists. There was the guy who felt the need to grab me by the arms, another felt compelled to shove his cell phone in my face with a few harsh words, again another grabbed me by the shoulder, and used what I'll call 'aggressive smooth talk,' another tonight who came out of nowhere and shoved his nose an inch from mine and said God knows what. I lost it tonight, had he not left sooner I would have punched him, kicked him, i don’t know, inflicted some sort of pain on him, but instead I was left to just turn around and yell at him. And these are just the more specific examples I can think off...I can't even tell you how many times I have had random guys literally just come right up to me and touch me or violate my personal space in some way or another.
Um, 'Hellogoodbye' basically just rocks my socks off...literally. You gotta dance when you hear their songs (and believe me, I do)...'screw guys, I just wanna dance!' 'Power pop,' hmmm, nice categorizing music genre makers, whoever you are. I miss dancing...in my room, in the car, in the street...it's one of my outlets. I have a lot of those...little things that I do to just help me feel like I can still be fun, that the world can never force me to become a complete grownup. For instance, when I ride my bike here I'll play games, race cars and stuff (extra points for scooters). Not like they know, but you'd be surprised at how intense it can get. Or sometimes, when I see someone looking at me/catch eyes with someone I'll make a scene and wave from my position on the street corner/cafe/wherever I happen to be. I think this one freaks people out. Apparently you're not supposed to do that when you're alone...or maybe just ever. Either way, it gives me a chuckle to watch people freak out and not know what to do. Anyone who really knows me is in full that spontaneous dance parties are definitely on my top 10 favorite things to do in life. I have no idea what others are up there in the top 10, but if I had a top 10 list, spontaneous dance parties would go there.
Writing this has made me realize that I haven't been able to completely let loose in a longtime. Feeling a little confined, honestly...at my host family’s house there’s never that fully "at home" sentiment since it's technically not my house...can never just do whatever I want. Or how now, when I walk in the street, I'm usually rockin' the death stare...otherwise there'd be even more sketchy dudes yelling random comments in my face...not even kidding! they put their face like 2 inches from mine and say who knows what in French. The other day I finally told a guy he could fuck off. I just don't want to put up with it anymore. I have many a time just let it slide, but those days are gone. I don't care if it shouldn't bother me like this or if it’s just a cultural difference. I don't care. Why? Because if these men can do whatever the hell they want, then I too will do the same. This includes yelling things back at them. Whistling, fine. Grabbing my shoulder, pushing it. Yelling things in my face, forget it. Really now, what would I do, boys? What are you accomplishing? Wow, nothing makes me feel more attractive than having you shout at me, thanks! Actually, the more I write about this, I'm realizing this infuriates me...then again, the tension has been building since day one.
As a woman in France, there is no such thing as personal space. French men feel they have the right to violate this personal space whenever they damn well please. No, not the majority of French men, but enough that I feel it speaks to a cultural difference. Yes, cars honk at me in the US. Do I find this charming? No. Does it bother me? Usually not. I miss honking cars. Here, the men are aggressive. Subtlety does not exist. If a man finds a woman attractive, he is not the least bit ashamed to look her straight up and down right in front of her. I've never felt like such a piece of meat. And let me clarify, these are not the gorgeous, finely dressed, European men by which most every girl would love to be approached. I’m talking the 40, 50, 60 year old guys, who classify as fairly undesirable and not the least bit charming. As I mentioned, personal space is nonexistent for women. Touching the shoulder, the hand, the hair, the face…all seems to be fair game, and women seem to not have a chance to voice their opinion…or if they do, i certainly haven’t heard them voice it…so I will.
And rarely, is any of this attention from men, charming. I find it to be rude, obnoxious, and quite frankly, disgusting.. I have never had a guy actually put his hands on me or come up so close to without having given him any indication whatsoever that he even exists. There was the guy who felt the need to grab me by the arms, another felt compelled to shove his cell phone in my face with a few harsh words, again another grabbed me by the shoulder, and used what I'll call 'aggressive smooth talk,' another tonight who came out of nowhere and shoved his nose an inch from mine and said God knows what. I lost it tonight, had he not left sooner I would have punched him, kicked him, i don’t know, inflicted some sort of pain on him, but instead I was left to just turn around and yell at him. And these are just the more specific examples I can think off...I can't even tell you how many times I have had random guys literally just come right up to me and touch me or violate my personal space in some way or another.
posted by Brittany at 8:11 AM
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